I wannas sexs uuuuu
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
