Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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