I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
