i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
