so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
