I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
