nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm really into asian looking animals
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This baby is an asshole
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
