yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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