i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
