I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
