too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
