garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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