I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
