Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
