pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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