It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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