so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i think my cat just said my name.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
