OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
