i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
