if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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