So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
