pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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