after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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