i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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