This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
