i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Im part way to drunk.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
