If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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