I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
