What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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