It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
