How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
