Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
