So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
