For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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