He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
