what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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