Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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