After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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