yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
