I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
