I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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