I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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