i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
