North Korea, Best Korea!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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