ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
