2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
