It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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