saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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