Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
