we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
